많은 부모님이 곤란한 상황을 모면하기 위해 “엄마가 이따가 해줄게”라며 지키지 못할 약속을 하는 경우가 있습니다. 아이는 부모님이 자신과의 약속을 존중해주는 모습을 보면서 자존감을 키우고 부모에 대한 존중과 권위를 배웁니다. 책임감이 강하고 정직한 아이로 성장하기를 바란다면 약속을 행동을 지켜야 합니다. 이번 주에는 아이와 약속을 잘하는 방법에 대해 소개합니다.
무리한 요구라면 단호하게 거절해주세요
아이가 원하는 것을 모두 다 들어줄 수는 없습니다. 부모가 지키기 어려운 것을 요구할 때는 부드러우면서 단호하게 안 된다고 말하며 그 이유를 충분히 설명해주세요.
거래성 약속은 하지 마세요
아이가 꾸준히 지키고 해야 하는 일은 규칙이지 약속이 아닙니다. 예를 들어 “네가 갖고 싶은 장난감을 사줄테니 동생이랑 싸우지 않겠다고 약속해!”라거나, 아이가 “이거 사주면 밥 남기지 않고 잘 먹을게”라는 등 거래·제안을 하는 것은 잘못된 방식의 약속이지요. 이런 상황이 버릇되면 아이는 당연한 규칙에도 항상 대가를 바라게 될 것입니다.
약속을 지키지 못했을 경우에는 사과가 필요합니다
불가피하게 아이와의 약속을 지키지 못할 때가 있습니다. 그러면 꼭 이유를 설명하고 양해를 구해주세요. 예를 들면 “○○이가 먹고 싶다고 한 과자를 사오기로 했는데 깜빡했어. 오늘은 대신 집에 있는 아이스크림을 먹고, 내일 유치원(어린이집)에 다녀와서 같이 사러가는 건 어떨까?”라고 먼저 약속을 지키지 못한 상황을 설명하고, 다음 약속을 조정하는 것이 필요합니다.
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